Most first pregnancies start to outgrow their pants late in the first trimester, and early second trimester. Your pants start to cut in and feel uncomfortable when you sit down. And you'll be using a hair elastic to keep your button waistbands done up. Around this time is when some pregnant people choose to buy a belly band.
A belly band is a nylon blend band of fabric that you wear overtop your waistband to keep your pants from falling down and your underwear from showing.
Around 19 to 22 weeks pregnant you'll have a small bump that you can visibly see. Around this time you'll be looking for bottoms and will start buying tops to swap out your pre pregnancy pieces. Work clothes are usually substituted first since comfort, function and appearance matter the most.
If you're only carrying one baby, you'll "pop" around 30 to 35 weeks. This is when you'll look "pregnant" and not fat. When your belly button might become an outy, and when some of the maternity tops you bought in your first & second trimesters might be getting too short to cover your bump.
If you'd like to learn more about maternity pants, you can read our blog post here.
You can learn more about maternity tops, and what makes them special by reading this blog post.
]]>
We are located in Petawawa, in the heart of the Ottawa Valley.
We offer in person shopping for your pregnancy and a variety of shipping options anywhere in Canada and the USA. We ship with Canada post or Courier.
Shipping to Ottawa is usually done through UPS, and packages arrive within 3 business days of your order being placed.
Returns are quick and easy and only cost $10 for the shipping label.
We offer #reloved maternity pieces from all major maternity brands to dress your baby bump. We carry both breastfeeding and maternity consignment pieces.
We carry Momzelle, some Bedondine, and Cadenshae. We have a small selecting of nursing bras. We only sell new bras, none of our bras are secondhand.
We carry Frida mom for your pospartum needs.
We also have a small selection of cloth diapers and inserts for your sustainable diapering needs.
We also accept donations of gently used, current fashions in our gently used maternity and breastfeeding collections. We also resell on consignment, so please think of us when it's time to part with your clothes.
]]>The clothing you wear during pregnancy is called maternity clothing. It's designed to fit you the way your pre-pregnancy clothing fit, that means if you wore a size small before you became pregnant, you start with size small in maternity clothes.
Maternity clothes are designed to fit your changing body. Tops are tailored to fit your growing baby bump. Pants have a variety of panel styles to choose from to make sure you're comfortable throughout the day.
Here’s a look at some of the ways maternity tops are different from regular tops, and the fit you can expect.
Side ruching is an elastic sewn into the side seam of the top. The fabric is lightly pleated on the sides as well. This allows the fabric to stretch as your bump grows without thinning or stressing the fabric. The elastic and peats are what gives you the extra space you need. These tops are always fitted.
Tops with smooth side seams, that are designed to be fitted (think t-shirt), are tailored so there’s more fabric in the front than the back. This gives your belly room to grow.
Blouses are also made with more fabric in the front and are usually a loser fit. Most come with an optional matching belt you can add to define the shape of your bump.
Ay tops with an empire waist detail (stitching, elastic, seam, belt that ties back) are going t be fitted in the bust but relaxed over the bump.
Should or can you upsize in non-pregnancy clothes? With tops, you might be able to get away with it in the second trimester, but not the third. And to be honest with you, you can always tell when someone is upsizing, and it doesn’t look good. It looks frumpy and like you don’t care. Pants on the other hand you can’t upsize. You’ll be uncomfortable and constantly pulling them up.
Here's a link for the maternity tops I have available today. In the description you’; read if it has an empire waist detail or side ruching. If it’s fitted or if it’s relaxed.
Maternity pants are not the same as regular pants. Maternity bottoms are designed to fit you the way your pre-pregnancy bottoms with one exception: the waist band.
Maternity bottoms have a belly band or built in features at the waist that are designed to keep your pants on and comfortable while your bump grows.
Pro Tip: when trying on maternity pants always make sure to sit down in them. Kind of hard to do that when you’re shopping online but when you shop with us, you can return what isn’t comfortable. Why sit? To test to make sure the bottoms will be comfortable. You want to make sure where the belly band and fabric meet doesn’t pinch, squeeze, or rub your bump.
This panel is also called the secret fit (Motherhood maternity) or sooth fit (Old Navy & Gap) panel. It’s made of a nylon spandex blend and designed to fit over your bump. It stretched as you grow and will remain fitted.
You’ll also see this style called a 3-in-1 panel because you can customize how you wear it. This is a full panel designed to be worn over your bump. You can also fold it in ½ so that it only goes part way up your bump. Or you can fold it in 3 and wear it as a low rise panel below your bump. The one complaint about this panel style is that some expecting moms find themselves pulling them up a lot. Ensure when you pull up you’re not pulling on the band, this will cause it to unstitch. Make sure to pull up from the pant fabric.
The low rise panel is designed to fit you below your bump. It can be made of a variety of fabrics, from cotton blend, to nylon cotton blend. Sometimes the is even some structure sewn into the panel. This panel style can go all around, or could be just in the front for your bump.
Depending on the brand this panel has different names. Pocket Panel, hip panel, or inset panel. These bottoms look like regular bottoms except the front pockets have been replaces with two triangles of elastic. This is a low rise design tailored to fit below your bump. Usually the elastic is the same colour as the pant. This is the panel style preferred by people who like to continue their tucking style.
There's a few styles in this heading. The front only inset panel. This bottom style has a panel sewn into the pant that is only on the front. The sides and back are pant fabric. This is usually an over the bump or partway up the bump. Don’t forget to sit when you try this style on!
There is also a low rise panel that is front only, and a low rise panel that is back only.
This style of panel is hidden. What I mean is the panel is the same as the fabric and there’s usually no seam to let you know when the panel starts. This style is common in skirts and leggings.
This is a low rise style designed to fit below the bump. These pants have elastics inside the waistband that you can tighten until your belly fills out the space. These look like regular bottoms.
Which is best really depends on a few things, and it won’t be the same for everyone
The best panel style usually boils down to personal preference and might change for you as your pregnancy progresses. That’s one of the reason’s my shop has an advantage over traditional maternity brands. I carry multiple brands in once place.
I have a great selection of pants, jeans and skirts with different panel styles to choose from. The best part is, all our bottoms (unless new) are under $20, so trying out the different styles to see which is best for you won’t take money away from your baby! Our collection is curated, you don’t have to worry about quality and durability -that’s my job. You just have to focus on finding pieces you love in your size.
You can shop out pants here:
]]>
I haven’t had a chance to be around horses. I’ve seen plenty from a distance, but up close their size is very intimidating. They are strong animals with a will of their own. To have the animals trust, and to comfort it through grooming was a very powerful experience. Her name was Lilac.
At home, my latest foster puppy, who is about 10 weeks old, was in a crate during the day for the first time. Despite the hours of confinement, he didn’t have an accident in the crate. I was sure I’d be hosing down the crate and giving him a bath when I got home. That was the worst-case scenario, and I’d convinced myself of its inevitability. I didn’t even allow myself to think of another possibility. And there were many. My default was to the negative, the more work, the I’m tired and I’m not going to want to, the this is the price of leaving a puppy alone for the day-you deserve the mess.
I’m sure by now you’ve heard of the negativity bias. I have, and I was not aware that I was stuck in the bias, I believed my thoughts to be a premonition of an inevitable future. I believed them to be fact. I was wrong, and I’m so glad I was. It was a moment for me to practice gratitude. I was so grateful for not having to bath a puppy, I was grateful for not having a reason to feel guilty for taking time with a friend. It was a reminder that the worst-case scenario doesn’t always happen and I really should think of three scenarios
Thinking of three scenarios is a good practice for the brain. Best case scenario, neutral or middle, and worse case scenario. Because our experiences, after-all, lie on a spectrum that isn’t always bad, always good or always neutral. Practice it with me. Give your mind some options. Free yourself from being stuck with only the negative.
]]>
I do put a lot of value in contributing to the family finances, doing something meaningful, and doing it well. And the last time this was an issue for me was when my son was about to turn one, and I realized I was going to have to go back to work. But for me, that meant archaeology and being away for 5 days a week. That wasn’t going to work with the type of parent I wanted to be, and so a crisis was born. I had to reinvent myself, and that’s not an easy thing to do at any point in life.
We naturally resist change because it means the unknown, it means taking a leap of faith. Being a new mom and having to reinvent myself while I was still figuring out what being a mom was to a child that grew and changed so fast, was especially not easy. My husband is incredibly supportive, so he wasn’t an issue, but this child was. I wanted to be an example. I wanted to be a contributor and not just a mom. Someone impressionable was watching. I felt the pressure. I created the pressure. He just wanted his mom.
All this, and the memory of struggling to dress myself affordably during my pregnancy lead me to start Happily Ever After Maternity. Something really brave for me since I’m shy and have anxiety (I didn’t know about the anxiety at the time, I was officially diagnosed after having two children). And now seven years later, I’m thinking about closing the business.
Why? Things have changed a lot since I started HEA. The maternity market for one, is now saturated with cheap (price and poor quality) maternity clothing. There are a lot more shopping options than there used to be, that’s why Thyme maternity closed their stored. That’s why motherhood maternity is now online only and closed their stores. That’s why Old Navy doesn’t pay for floor space for their maternity collection, it’s online only.
There hasn’t been a lot of local support despite having a retail space. Local support is incredibly important because I don’t have to pay shipping costs on the orders. In the end I make more money on these orders because I don’t have the added expense. There could be many reasons why local shoppers aren’t choosing to shop with HEA, but the bottom line for me is that if no one comes to shop in person, then they no longer need or want the service I’m providing, and if that’s the case, why am I wasting time and money on something people no longer need.
I should have closed during COVID when things started to change and decline. Instead I fought. And I spent a small fortune hiring two marketing companies to try and make HEA more visible to increase sales. They both failed and I ended up in an enormous amount of debt. I hate debt. It makes me feel vulnerable and at risk. My self-esteem got in the way when I hired these companies. I thought they could do what I couldn’t I hired them for their expertise, and it turns out, I didn’t need them. They couldn’t do anything for me that I hadn’t learned to do for myself. I was the expert in the field of Maternity clothing, they didn’t have a clue. So in a way I was validated because they weren’t able to do what I couldn’t do. But it was an expensive lesson.
So now, I’ at a crossroads. I have a bunch of debt, and a business that’s slowed down and isn’t making much money. Do I stick it out, try something new (I have no idea what that would be right now), or do I close and put my energy elsewhere? But if I close, what do I do instead? Whatever it is, it has to bring in money right away, my LOC demands it. So I feel stuck.
It’s strange how I can’t write these words in my personal journal, but I can here, writing to you. I surprised myself today with my revelations. The maternity world is changing and I’m not sure I have it in me to stand out amongst the noise. When you start a business, you expect progress to be a straight line. Slow and steady maybe, but you expect it to rise steadily as you get better at what you do, as you get more customers, and as word of mouth starts to spread. Organic growth should be a rock-solid foundation that keeps getting higher and higher. But that’s not reality at all. Especially in the maternity world where I only need my services for 9 months. It’s harder to attract customers, and it must happen more frequently. Every 9 months I’m a reborn, new, business for someone. Entrepreneurship and being a small maternity store is such a roller-coaster ride.
It feels like voodoo at times, like the roll of the dice, despite all the hard work and past performance. I don’t know if my nerves can handle it anymore. Part of me is angry, not at you, but at the universe for not rewarding my time and hard work with consistency and growth. I feel like I’ve put the time in. I feel like I’ve put the work in. So, what’s going on? But that’s small business ownership in a time of convenient amazon shopping. That’s small business ownership when social media is overcrowded with companies trying to get your attention. I used to spend 100$ on Facebook adds and make the money back with sales. Now I’m lucky if my ad gets seen by enough people. It’s all changed. It’s harder. It’s more expensive.
I think we all need to ask ourselves: the small businesses that survived COVID, what did they have to do, to sacrifice, to still be here?
]]>
Lately I’ve been struggling a lot. I don’t think I’ve talked about this before, but I’m afflicted with anxiety every day, despite being on meds for it. My doc recently switched things up and at first, I felt great results, but now it’s back to my usual struggle. And I think it’s because meds can only take me so far, I suspect there is something in my life that needs an overhaul. AS a result of my struggles lately, sitting to write and research has been difficult. I can’t focus for too long, and those negative ‘gremlins’ in my head get the best of me and make me feel like my effort is for not.
Winter is coming, and winter scared me to my core. I need the wilderness and the outdoors to stay refreshed and functioning. In winter I lose access to some of my favourite restorative haunts and activities. The season makes me feel isolated and trapped which is a double whammy since my anxiety does that to me on the inside. I also wonder how I’m going to survive another winter with two kids who will be bouncing off the walls.
The truth about being a mom, and amplified by living in a small house, is that you’re always needed and don’t have a lot, if any, personal space, and I need that to help me reset. But too much lets my gremlins have too much power. It’s a delicate balance.
This year my fears for winter are worse because my husband’s job is taking him away from us until summer. He’s been gone for part of the winter before, but this time he’ll be gone for twice as long and he’s missing the entire thing, Christmas included. I know I can do this but that doesn’t stop me from wondering what’s going to go wrong, and what it’s going to be like having to do absolutely everything while keeping up to my children’s needs and they’re forever wanting.
I’m in the process of reading “Breaking free from Emotional Eating” by Geneen Roth. So far I’m really enjoying the book and she talks about loneliness: “you can deal with loneliness one night at a time. But what you can’t deal with is the idea of loneliness, the fear of it.” I resonated with this line so much. Replace loneliness with any struggle, and it’s a reminder that thinking about something is worse than doing it in the moment. This quote gave me strength. I hope it can be of help to you as well.
I’m not sure when I’ll be able to consistently produce my Tuesday emails again, or even show up consistently on social media, but I’m still here, I’m just dealing with stuff right now and I don’t have any stores of discipline left to draw on to make myself show up consistently. I've decided that being strong right now means taking care of myself and my needs, not pushing myself to show up everywhere, on the blog, social media and in your inbox. I can't sacrifice more for the business right now, which is bad for business, but healing for me.
]]>
Maternity pants are not the same as regular pants. Maternity bottoms are designed to fit you the way your pre-pregnancy bottoms with one exception: the waist band.
Maternity bottoms have a belly band or built in features at the waist that are designed to keep your pants on and comfortable while your bump grows.
Pro Tip: when trying on maternity pants always make sure to sit down in them. Kind of hard to do that when you’re shopping online but when you shop with us, you can return what isn’t comfortable. Why sit? To test to make sure the bottoms will be comfortable. You want to make sure where the belly band and fabric meet doesn’t pinch, squeeze, or rub your bump.
This panel is also called the secret fit (Motherhood maternity) or sooth fit (Old Navy & Gap) panel. It’s made of a nylon spandex blend and designed to fit over your bump. It stretched as you grow and will remain fitted.
You’ll also see this style called a 3-in-1 panel because you can customize how you wear it. This is a full panel designed to be worn over your bump. You can also fold it in ½ so that it only goes part way up your bump. Or you can fold it in 3 and wear it as a low rise panel below your bump. The one complaint about this panel style is that some expecting moms find themselves pulling them up a lot. Ensure when you pull up you’re not pulling on the band, this will cause it to unstitch. Make sure to pull up from the pant fabric.
The low rise panel is designed to fit you below your bump. It can be made of a variety of fabrics, from cotton blend, to nylon cotton blend. Sometimes the is even some structure sewn into the panel. This panel style can go all around, or could be just in the front for your bump.
Depending on the brand this panel has different names. Pocket Panel, hip panel, or inset panel. These bottoms look like regular bottoms except the front pockets have been replaces with two triangles of elastic. This is a low rise design tailored to fit below your bump. Usually the elastic is the same colour as the pant. This is the panel style preferred by people who like to continue their tucking style.
There's a few styles in this heading. The front only inset panel. This bottom style has a panel sewn into the pant that is only on the front. The sides and back are pant fabric. This is usually an over the bump or partway up the bump. Don’t forget to sit when you try this style on!
There is also a low rise panel that is front only, and a low rise panel that is back only.
This style of panel is hidden. What I mean is the panel is the same as the fabric and there’s usually no seam to let you know when the panel starts. This style is common in skirts and leggings.
This is a low rise style designed to fit below the bump. These pants have elastics inside the waistband that you can tighten until your belly fills out the space. These look like regular bottoms.
Which is best really depends on a few things, and it won’t be the same for everyone
The best panel style usually boils down to personal preference and might change for you as your pregnancy progresses. That’s one of the reason’s my shop has an advantage over traditional maternity brands. I carry multiple brands in once place.
I have a great selection of pants, jeans and skirts with different panel styles to choose from. The best part is, all our bottoms (unless new) are under $20, so trying out the different styles to see which is best for you won’t take money away from your baby! Our collection is curated, you don’t have to worry about quality and durability -that’s my job. You just have to focus on finding pieces you love in your size.
]]>
What kind of emotional drop:
Feelings of overwhelm, feelings of low self-worth, guilt, hopelessness, shame, and a desire to hide from the world. The emotions are directed toward oneself and not toward baby. Some afflicted woman also claim to lose the ability to concentrate during each episode.
What causes this in 5-8% of breastfeeding people?
Since D-MER was only recently recognized (2011), Early research suggests that an abrupt drop in dopamine may occur when milk release is triggered, resulting in a real or relative brief dopamine deficit for affected women.
What is dopamine?
Dopamine is a chemical released in the brain that makes you feel good. Having the right amount of dopamine is important both for your body and your brain. Dopamine is responsible for allowing you to feel pleasure, satisfaction and motivation. When you feel good that you have achieved something, it’s because you have a surge of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine also has a role to play in controlling memory, mood, sleep, learning, concentration and body movements.
So far D-MER is not related to postpartum depression (PPD) and postpartum anxiety (PPA). While serotonin is the most popular neurotransmitter (chemical messenger) targeted by depression and anxiety medications, dopamine levels are also increasingly targeted in individuals with anxiety and depression as a "booster" to the serotonin meds. Since this is all new research and practice, I won't be surprised if in the future we discover dopamine levels are responsible for some PPD and PPA.
If you think you may be suffering from D-Mer's, please talk to your Doctor, postpartum Doula or midwife.
Further Reading
You can learn more about D-MER by reading this interview
Dysphoric milk ejection reflex: A case report by Alia M Heise1 and Diane Wiessinger2
I'll update this section as more research becomes available.
Here’s a look at some of the ways maternity tops are different from regular tops, and the fit you can expect.
Side ruching is an elastic sewn into the side seam of the top. The fabric is lightly pleated on the sides as well. This allows the fabric to stretch as your bump grows without thinning or stressing the fabric. The elastic and peats are what gives you the extra space you need. These tops are always fitted.
Tops with smooth side seams, that are designed to be fitted (think t-shirt), are tailored so there’s more fabric in the front than the back. This gives your belly room to grow.
Blouses are also made with more fabric in the front and are usually a loser fit. Most come with an optional matching belt you can add to define the shape of your bump.
Ay tops with an empire waist detail (stitching, elastic, seam, belt that ties back) are going t be fitted in the bust but relaxed over the bump.
Should or can you upsize in non-pregnancy clothes? With tops, you might be able to get away with it in the second trimester, but not the third. And to be honest with you, you can always tell when someone is upsizing, and it doesn’t look good. It looks frumpy and like you don’t care. Pants on the other hand you can’t upsize. You’ll be uncomfortable and constantly pulling them up.
Here's a link for the maternity tops I have available today. In the description you’; read if it has an empire waist detail or side ruching. If it’s fitted or if it’s relaxed.
Happy Shopping
]]>
When you outgrow your current clothes. I know I know you want to know exactly when that’s going to be. Unfortunately, I can’t give you a straight answer because everyone’s body and every pregnancy are different.
I’ve been selling maternity clothing since 2015, while my earliest shopper was showing at 10 weeks, my latest was just starting to show at 33 weeks. But these two examples are extremes. The average time most baby bellies start to grow beyond their everyday clothes is the 20-25 weeks mark – especially for first pregnancies. With subsequent pregnancies you’ll start to outgrow your clothes earlier.
Now, your boobs won’t follow the same schedule as your belly. While some women keep the same bra size throughout their pregnancy, others see their breasts increase is the first, second and third trimesters.
Here’s a secret I learned a long time ago: THERE IS NO, I repeat THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MATERNITY BRA. “maternity bra” is a marketing term. There’s nothing special about them, no special features that a regular bra doesn’t have. So save your money and upsize in the bras you already love. Maternity stores created the “maternity bra” to get you to spend more time shopping with them, after all you won’t need their services for very long, so they want to get the most out of you they can.
If you’re planning to breastfeed, during our pregnancy is a good time to start buying nursing (feeding) bras. You’ll get more wear out of them, which makes they less expensive in the long run.
I carry a seamless bra that I highly recommend for pregnancy. It has a wide waist band for support, extra hook placements, and the fabric has a bit of stretch. You’ll be able the wear the same size in this bra even when you go up a numeric size. This means you’ll be supported (you can cross the straps I the back for extra support) and comfortable, and you’ll need to replace your bra less often during your pregnancy. This will save you money and save you on space in your dresser drawers.
I also carry bras from Cadenshae and Momzelle, and we have quite a few clearance style starting at $19.99.
With cloth diapering you can 100% customize your diapering experience. You can choose cute covers, and "make your own" diaper by selecting the liner and boosters you use for the inside.
And I'm not talking about the brands you choose, in this case I'm talking about the fabric. You have many options to choose from, bamboo, hemp, organic cotton. Let's look at the pros and cons of each, so you can choose what's right for you and customize your own diapers!
Benefits:
PRO
CON
Benefits:
PRO
CON
Benefits:
PRO
CON
There is no one "right" choice when it comes to what you put inside your cloth diapers. And what worked for me, might not work for you.
]]>
An All-In-One (AIO) diaper is a cloth diaper style that has a waterproof exterior and an absorbent interior that's sewn into the cover. When the diaper gets soiled, it gets rinsed and washed as one piece.
As you can see in the picture above, the Bum genius has two sewn in inserts.
From the picture above, you can see that the liner for the Apple cheeks diaper is sewn in on both sides.
As you can see in the picture above, this all in one comes with one sewn in flap, and an extra insert to add more absorbency.
That's really a personal preference, and will vary from baby to baby. The cloth diapers I liked best for my son, didn't fit my daughter quite right.
The nice thing about cloth, and the variety, is that you don't have to be brand loyal. You can try out a few different types, find what you like, and resell that isn't working for you.
You can shop all out ALL-IN-ONE DIAPERS HERE
PLEASE, let me know if you have any further questions.
]]>Hey Friend
I’ve been hard at work going through the maternity clothes and pulling out all the old clothes. Before I was a consignment shop, I used to buy maternity clothing outright, and over the years a few pieces have stuck around. I’ve spent the last week going through all the clothes in person, and digitally, and I created an epic clearance section for you. I have pieces in your size, multiple seasons.
I discovered that some of the pieces in some of the sizes, somehow, fell through the cracks and never got photographed and posted! So, if you’ve been scrolling your size online, there’s going to be pieces you’ve never seen before!
Prices start at $4.99, and end at $35 (gowns). Most pieces are $4.99 or $9.99. This is a great opportunity to get what you need, and have money left over for other things in life!
Enjoy the savings! And, for a short time, you can save an extra 15% off the clearance section with code CLEAR
ends Aug 31, 2023
PLEASE tell your pregnant and breastfeeding friends! I’d really like help spreading the word about my small business, and there’s no better advertising than word of mouth! Your referrals have so much power!
Happy Savings
]]>
Here’s our guide on the panel styles you need to keep your tucking style.
Full nylon panels, these can be called smooth fit or secret fit, or full panel. This style of panel does not work for tucking.
Why?
Because
Here’s what it would look like if you tried to tuck with a full nylon panel.
Not very put together eh?
Full cotton panel
This panel style is a full panel, made of a cotton spandex blend. It’s called a 3-in-1 (started by Thyme maternity because you can wear the panel full, fold it in half and wear it part way up your bump, or fold it in three and make it a low rise panel. The full 3-in-1 panel is not the best for tucking.
Why?
Because
Yes you can tuck with a low rise panel maternity bottom!
These belly panels were designed to be low rise and to rest below your belly.
This will allow you to tuck your tops in below your bump.
With this panel style you’ll be showing a lot of bump.
Yes, you can tuck with pocket panels. So pocket panels are elastic wedges, placed where front pockets would be in a traditional pant. These elastic triangles are the same tone as the fabric of your bottoms.
Like the low-rise panel, the pocket panel is a low-rise style designed to sit below your bump. This style is great for ticking, no one will notice the difference in the front (elastic where pockets would be)
You want to make sure your pocket panel is the same colour as the fabric of your pant (or short). Otherwise the panel will stand out and break the illusion you're trying to create.
Some pieces have panels that are made with the same fabric as the rest of the pant or skirt (or shorts, you get the idea). These can be low-rise or high-rise. So you can tuck and if it’s low-rise, the bottom will be sitting below the bump, and showing off your bump. If it’s high-rise, the rise will end on your belly and you’ll be showing less bump.
Some skirts and casual pants are now made with tucking in mind. These styles don’t actually have a panel to hold the bottoms up. They are a fitted high-rise style that gives you a smooth line and look from seat to waist.
This style will give you a longer bottom line and a shorter top line. Your bump will blend in with the bottoms and you won’t look as pregnant in the front as you do from the side.
Here’s what it looks like with a skirt.
]]>There are 6 stages of play during early childhood.
Reaching these play milestones is important for development. Play improves the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of your child. It helps refine the use of their seven senses: sight, sound, touch, smell, taste, vestibular (movement), and proprioceptive, (body position). It also teaches them a bunch of skills they need to form relationships, in school, for transitions, and in conflict resolution.
Some of these skills include:
Let’s look at the 6 stages of play and what they entail. Next we’ll discuss how children on the Autism spectrum have trouble progressing through the stages of play.
Stage 1: Unoccupied Play
At this stage your baby is moving their arms, legs, hands, and feet. They’re learning about and discovering how their body moves.
This stage teaches baby proprioception skills. Your baby is learning how to reach, hold, and touch things in their environment. They are building their coordination. Tummy Time can also be considered a form of unoccupied play.
Stage 2: Solitary Play
This is the stage when a baby plays alone. They’re not interested in playing with others quite yet. This is important because it teaches your baby how to entertain themselves.
Your baby engages in activities that are self-directed, such as playing with toys or exploring their environment. You can see signs of focus developing and increasing at this stage. Your baby/toddler can also play for longer periods of time than in the unoccupied stage
Solitary play helps your baby/toddler develop their cognitive skills. They’re learning to explore and experiment with their environment. They’re learning to recognize patterns, form mental images, and identify objects.
As they learn to explore and experiment with their environment, they start to develop their problem-solving skills. This stage of play also helps your baby/toddler to develop their sense of self-awareness and independence.
This stage of play remains unstructured.
Stage 3: Spectator/Onlooker Play
During this stage of play your child begins to watch other children play but doesn’t play with them. Your child is learning from the other children by observing them.
You might feel the urge to encourage your child to join the other children in their play, but this stage is important.
Sometimes it’s easy to think children engaged in onlooker play might be lonely or scared to engage with other children, when in fact it is a very normal part of play development
Your child is taking in everything, just as they did as babies during unoccupied play. They’re learning how other children play, recognizing social interactions, and the rules of play.
Stage 4: Parallel Play
This stage helps your child further develop social skills. They aren’t directly interacting, but they will often share toys without playing together directly.
Children will be using the same toys but playing separate games right next to each other. Social skills are being learnt by observation. For example, your child might put something down, and the other child picks it up. Even though your child put it down, they might not be happy with the other child taking it. At this stage, your child starts learning to understand social cues and develop empathy.
They’re learning to recognize the emotions and feelings of others, and they’re learning to take turns and share.
This stage of play also helps children develop their communication skills, as they are learning to
Stage 5: Associate Play
This is the stage when your child starts to interact with others during play, but there’s not a large amount of interaction.
Your child might be doing an activity related to the kids around them, but might not actually be interacting with another child. For example, kids might all be playing on the same piece of playground equipment but all doing different things like climbing, swinging, etc.
At this stage you’ll see the skills your child learned through onlooker and parallel play start to come into practice. They have an interest in interacting with another child, not just the toy.
Stage 6 Cooperative Play
When your child plays together with others and has interest in both the activity and the other children involved, they’ve reached the cooperative play stage. Now your child begins to play with others toward a common goal or play scenario.
Often at this stage of play your child will engage in imaginative or pretend play, They’ll often create imaginative worlds and recreate scenes that they’ve read in books, seen in movies, or on tv. I think my daughter and I acted out the scene in Frozen where Ana wakes up Elsa because “the sky’s awake” at least a million times lol.
They’re also developing their language skills and learning how to compromise and negotiate. This stage of play also helps your child develop their self-confidence and
independence.
Children on the Spectrum
Why is it a problem when a child doesn’t develop past the solitary play stage?
Playing is learning for children. Play is the only way to help a child develop their social and communication skills with others. If a child gets stuck and can’t move past solitary play, they don’t develop all the skills mentioned above.
Young children with autism spend more time unengaged and in solitary play. Researchers have pinpointed the two areas children on the spectrum have trouble with. Joint attention and symbolic play.
Joint attention (JA)
Joint attention is socialization with another child by engaging in sharing an object or a situation. When you experience something, you enjoy it more when you share it with someone else. This is a struggle for children on the spectrum.
Some kids on the spectrum struggle with JA because:
Children begin to display JA around 12 months old.
Symbolic Play
Symbolic play happens when your child starts to use objects to represent (or symbolize) something else. in symbolic play, a child progresses from playing with toys functionally, to allowing the toy to be something else. For example, in symbolic play a block can be used as a phone.
Kids on the spectrum “get stuck” and can’t move beyond, a truck rolls. They call this stereotypical play. A child with ASD can’t imagine new scenarios for that truck. They just roll it back and forth and line it up with other trucks. They develop rigid rules about their play.
Children on the spectrum are very unlikely to observe others' behavior and imitate that behavior. Symbolic play and pretend play are learned through observation. They start through imitation. Pretend play scenarios can get really elaborate and a child’s communications skills need to be advanced in both receptive and expressive communication to be able to take part. None of these skills, observation, imitation, communication, are a strength for children with autism.
Symbolic play develops between 18-20 months.
Here’s how you can help your child
Countless Studies have found that focusing on a child’s ability to play greatly improves their language and social skills. If your child has been diagnosed and you’re waiting for care, focus on play. This is something you can do at home that can be a positive experience for both you and your child.
So I know this was a long one, but it’s incredible to learn how play shapes our children.
What as your biggest take away from this article? Please comment below.
]]>
Second
Your bust measurement. You get this measurement by measuring around your bust at nipple level. This measurement gives you your cup size, which is usually a letter (A, B, C, D, E, F, DD ect...)
The Everyday bra doesn't convert to a conventional bra size, it uses your actual measurements.
I measure
34" under-bust (size Large)
39" in the chest (size M or L)
Both bras fit, but the medium was too tight. the large was a perfect fit.
If your underbust and chest measurements offer you different sizes pick the size that is common to both.
WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOUR UNDERBUST AND CHEST SIZE DON'T HAVE A COMMON SIZE?
for example your chest measures 32 (size small) and your underbust measures a 33 (Size large)? In this example you could try a size medium, but you'd likely have gapping in the cups or by the armpit, and the bra would not fit you well.
You 'll need to find another bra style.
I hope this helps take some of the mystery out of bra shopping. I know bra shopping is hard to do online because you can't try them on to make sure they're a good fit.
Using the measurements provided by Cadenshae, I created a chart that breaks down the different bra sizes that all within these measurements.
These are also found in the product description for the bra.
There are early warning signs that your child should be assessed for autism. These warning signs are more prevalent in boys, girls are harder to diagnose because their symptoms don’t usually present the same.
A word of warning, some of these “early warning signs” could be normal for your child.
You should become concerned when your child displays one or more of these traits in each of the four categories.
Always talk to your doctor about any concerns you may have.
Communication
Social
Play
Behaviour
Source: First year tackle box “ by Dr Charlene Gervais, Dr Cherish Twigg, Dr Christy Kelson, Dr Colleen C. Cairns, Heather Fawcett , Dr Holly kibbe, Jackie Shore, Dr Karen Ogston, Kim Moore, Lindsay Moir, Lynne Thibodeay, Sheia Bell , Shiri bartman. The Portia Learning Center Inc
]]>
In the beginning your baby will express its love when you meet their three basic human needs;
As baby gets older, they start to mimic your expressions of love.
Smiles, kisses, touching, and eye contact. They interact with you, they put their arms out for you, and they get upset when you leave.
You won’t hear the words “I love you” for a few years. But their body language has been telling you they love you since they were born!
A common stereotype about kids with autism is that they don’t show love or affection in any way.
But affection is shown in more ways than the words "I love you" and physical contact for a kiss or a hug. The human love language is much more complex than that.
Since every child with autism is different, affection can be reciprocated in different ways.
it might be
· displayed through an uncharacteristic moment of eye contact,
· with words
· tokens
· gestures
· a touch
allowing you to join in their play
When you have a child on the spectrum, you learn a alot about non-verbal ways of communication and expressions of affection.
It can be hard as a parent, because you have an expectation of how love should be expressed, and you aren't receiving it the way you thought you would be. It's a big mindset change.
You can often feel disconnected from your child which is a horrible helpless feeling. And with all the doctors and specialists focusing on what your child can't do, where their delays are, you live in a world that points out the negatives and the wrong.
For your health it's important to focus on the positives. On the things your child can do today that they couldn't do yesterday. And a gratitude practice can help you with that. We have a blog post about gratitude here.
Do you have a child to the spectrum?
I'd live to hear your story!
Please comment or send me an email.
]]>You can read
post One, Nursing here
post two, Breastfeeding here
This blog post isn’t like anything you’ve read before. It’s going to have definitions, history, and it’s going to be thought provoking. AND I’m going to push some buttons. I’m going to ask questions, I'm not going to be polite about it, and I’m not going to answer these questions for you.
This is a sensitive subject.
You might get triggered.
You might get emotional. And that’s ok. Your feelings are valid, but how you choose to express those feelings, and the language you use, might not be. Comments will be screened.
From the moment you announce your pregnant, there’s a lot of talk about how you “should” feed your baby. Whether that’s breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, pumping, formula — or some combination of these, everyone has an opinion. Feeding is a heated topic with a lot of conflict, and so’s the language we use to talk about feeding.
If you haven’t had to choose how to label your feeding approach, chestfeeding/breastfeeding might seem like just words, but that’s a privilege not everyone shares.
There’s a lot to unpack here. Let’s start by looking at some definitions and their origins. I’ve decided to tackle these in historical order. Think of this as the timeline for the vocabulary society has used to label feeding.
The term feeding is fairly new. When I started H.E.A. maternity in 2015, no one was using this term yet. It started to creep into the maternity vernacular in 2020. It wasn’t the maternity industry or the healthcare industry that started to adopt the term. It was mothers.
I’d come across the term on kijiji and other buy and sell groups when mothers were selling their maternity and feeding clothes. There’s nothing online about this yet. I’ve done the research and no one is talking about it.
TAKEAWAY
Feeding isn’t mainstream yet, but I think it should be. It describes the act of feeding a baby in its purest form. It leaves body labels out of it. But I know the breast (chest) vs formula snobs won’t like it because it doesn’t differentiate them enough from the “others” who make different choices for their babies.
If you want to get hung up on the body terms, use lactiferous feeding. That’s what your milk ducts are called, and that’s where your milk comes from. Not your breast. Your breast is just the container, the straw.
Questions:
Do you feel represented by the word feeding?
Why or why not?
Why does the word breast mean so much to you?
Do you feel "breast is best", so you want a term that sets you apart from formula feeders? Are you a feeding snob?
In 2021, The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine has released new guidelines suggesting the term “breastfeeding” is not indicative of “gender-inclusive language” and ought to be replaced with “chestfeeding” or “human milk feeding” instead.
If chestfeeding is the same thing as breastfeeding, why do we need a new word?
Because, unlike other mammals where breastfeeding is a physiological activity that is part of the female reproductive process, for us, humans, it’s a social construct. Breastfeeding is not the same for everyone. Same ocean different boats. Not everyone’s experience is going to be like yours, therefore not all dialogue is going to make you feel represented.
As previously stated, for humans, breastfeeding is a social construct. What chestfeeding is and the role it plays in a person’s life depends on education, beliefs, social norms, gender identification, social class, ethnicity, place where they lived, culture, medical history, and so on.
In short, chestfeeding is feeding your baby milk from your chest. It’s a more gender-neutral term and includes parents who are tube feeding their preemie and older baby’s.
Chestfeeding is used in the community of people who have recently given birth but don’t identify as women. It can also be used by people who do identify as female but prefer ‘chestfeeding’ because of physical or emotional trauma related to their breasts. Chestfeeding can also refer to using a feeding tube attached to the nipple to feed a baby when lactation isn’t possible. It’s a more empowering term than tube feeding, and a less emotionally degrading term than breastfeeding.
Some people and businesses choose to use the term chestfeeding at certain times to be an ally or show support for a chestfeeding friend. I’ve made the choice to alternate between chestfeeding and breastfeeding to include and educate. And I will continue to do so, even if I receive negative pushback. After writing this I’m thinking of exclusively adopting feeding (more on this below).
“At the end of the day, ‘chestfeeding’ is for anyone who feels like it’s for them. Choosing whether or not to use the term is a personal choice. Staying aware of these terms keeps you from having to ask chestfeeding people to explain themselves and making them uncomfortable. It’s best to simply accept and respect people’s choice of words concerning their own body.” https://picklesandicecreamga.org/what-is-chestfeeding/
If you haven’t had to choose how to label your feeding approach, chestfeeding might seem like just a word, but that is a privilege that not everyone shares. Remember, if the use of the term chestfeeding makes you feel left out, it’s not just about you. We’ll talk about representation below.
The takeaway
Chestfeeding is meant to be non-threatening, ungendered and inclusive. I think it’s meant to be included in everyone’s vocabulary. Expanding your mind is important for personal growth. The use of the term is to educate, include, and inform. I don’t think it’s meant to replace the use of the term breastfed. It’s meant to be included alongside it. Which is why I use it interchangeable with breastfeeding in my communications.
Ask yourself:
What is the emotion you are feeling?
Why is this term threatening to you?
Are you being oversensitive? Is there trauma from your past or an insecurity making you feel defensive?
Are you Narcissistic? Are you being too self centred?
Do you realize that not everyone’s experience is going to be like yours, therefore not all dialogue is going to make you feel represented?
Why do you feel emotionally when you suddenly don’t feel represented by the vocabulary?
Are you showing contempt to the people the word chestfeeding represents to include? Are you homophobic or racist,
Are you just being a social snob? elitist?
Is it images like the one above that make you hate the term chestfeeding?
Do you feel degraded by the term?
Is this where equal rights goes too far for you?
Write about it, but make sure you have valid arguments and not just anger to express. We need debate and intelligent conversations to learn and grow, not more hate speech.
To want your parenting journey to be defined by the word breast is fine, but so is making room for a marginalized person’s vocabulary. It’s about acknowledgement NOT assimilation. No one is trying to take your experience away from you or minimalize it. I haven’t completely converted from breastfeeding to chestfeeding because that’s not inclusive. I'm leaning towards the term feeding.
Using the word “chestfeeding” is opening a dialogue about (with) someone else who has had the same struggles but uses different words to describe their very similar experience.
Same ocean different boats. Not everyone’s experience is going to be like yours, therefore not all dialogue is going to make you feel represented.
Want to learn more about chestfeeding?
https://www.todaysparent.com/baby/breastfeeding/chestfeeding-faq/
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/08/chestfeeding/497015/
https://www.lllc.ca/what-chestfeeding
https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/breastfeeding/services/lgbtqi-and-breastfeeding.aspx
]]>
You can read post 1 about the term Nursing here.
You can read post 3 about the term Chestfeeding here
This blog post isn’t like anything you’ve read before. It’s going to have definitions, history, and it’s going to be thought provoking, and I’m going to push some buttons. I’m going to ask questions, and I’m not going to answer them for you. This is a sensitive subject. You might get triggered. You might get emotional. And that’s ok. Your feelings are valid, but how you choose to express those feelings, and the language you use might not be. Comments will be screened.
From the moment you announce your pregnant, there’s a lot of talk about how you “should” feed your baby. Whether that’s breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, pumping, formula — or some combination of these, everyone has an opinion. Feeding is a heated topic with a lot of conflict, and so’s the language we use to talk about feeding.
If you haven’t had to choose how to label your feeding approach, chestfeeding/breastfeeding might seem like just words, but that’s a privilege not everyone shares.
There’s a lot to unpack here. Let’s start by looking at some definitions and their origins. I’ve decided to tackle these in historical order. Think of this as the timeline for the vocabulary society has used to label feeding.
The word “breastfeeding” means feeding an infant at the mother’s breast. If you want to get more scientific, “breastfeeding” described a “simultaneous dyadic behaviour: the mother feeding her infant at her breast”. (Source)
Technically speaking, pumping breastmilk and bottle feeding isn’t breastfeeding. The infant is receiving human milk but not breastfeeding. If you want to dive deeper into this semantic debate, you can read The Meaning of “Breastfeeding” Is Changing and So Must Our Language About It, but it’s outside the scope of this blog post.
Milk produced from a human is referred to as human milk (HM) in scientific journals.
Humans are mammals, and like other mammals breastfeeding is a physiological activity that is part of the female reproductive process. But unlike other mammals, we can opt out if we choose to.
For humans, breastfeeding is a social construct. What breastfeeding is and the role it plays in a person’s life depends on education, gender identification, beliefs, social norms, social class, ethnicity, place where they lived, culture, medical history, and so on.
I really wanted to find the point in history when doctors started using the term breastfeed instead of nursing, but I couldn’t find a direct reference that pinpointed the change in medical history. I do think that this change might have taken place in the 18th century or in the 1970s, when there was a pushback against formula. Here’s a bit of a history lesson.
During the 18th century, male midwives and doctors started to pushout traditional midwives in pregnancy and delivery. Forceps, were invented and could only be used by male midwives or doctors because women were not permitted to perform “medical procedures”. With the invention of forceps physicians claimed that they were superior to female midwives, and the largest shift in medical history of the care of pregnant people and birthing practices began.
read more about the Man Midwife here
The 18th century is also when the natural sciences emerge and there was a new found urgency to encourage and pressure women to breastfeed their own baby’s. Wet nurses were widely used that this point in time. It was argued that women should stay at home to nurse and raise their children, like mammals do. This could be when the language started to change.
The history of the development and use of formula and the pushback that came from it in the 1970s could also be where the term breastfeeding started to replace the term nursing.
Baby formula was created at the end of the 19th century. By 1883 there were 27 patented brands of baby food. It wasn’t until 1929 that nonmilk- based formula became available.
According to the La Leche League breastfeeding rates steadily declined in the 1950s and 1960s. In 1956, breastfeeding rate was only 20 percent. It stayed low during the 1960s.
By the 1940s and 1950s, physicians and consumers regarded the use of formula as a safe, popular, substitute for breastmilk. In the 1970s, the decline in breastfeeding rates triggered negative publicity for formula manufacturers and in the United States and the UK a movement began to promote breastfeeding. This could be when the term breastfeeding replaced Nursing in popular culture. The term “breast is best” was the title of a book published In 1978, by British authors Penny and Andrew Stanley.
In 1988, the formula industry began advertising directly to the public, before this, formula was treated like a pharmaceutical product and was prescribed by a doctor. This change created tension between the medical profession and the formula manufacturers. By 1990, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released a statement listing reasons for the organization's opposition to advertising infant formulas to the general public.And there was a resurgence to promote breastfeeding, and the term like “breast is best” was used by the World health organization.
Want to learn more about the history of baby formula? This is a good article
The term breastfeeding was not popularized by a feminist movement to empower women. It was either started by the takeover of men in the previously female dominated medical profession of childbirth. Or it was a reaction to the formula industry and the decline of breastfeeding. “Breast is best” was coined to build awareness and education about feeding a baby human milk instead of formula. Some people have politicized the term breastfeeding, but that was never its origins or the intent of the term breastfeeding.
I don't have a problem with the term breastfeeding. I breastfed both my children. I'm not attached to the word "breast". I'm aware that not everyone is represented by the word breastfeeding. And, I've certainly been told that the people who aren't represented by the term breastfeeding aren't the majority of my customer base. So why change the language I used to discuss feeding? for two reasons
The next blog post is going to discuss chestfeeding, and that's where I'm going to "poke the bear" and challenge your attachment to language. It will be released on March 7th.
What do you think of the term breastfeeding?
Does it describe your experience?
Does it describe everyones experience?
Do you think breastfeeding is a feminist term?
Know the history of what you’re fighting for. Because maybe you’re hung-up on the wrong things.
P.S. I came across this add doing my research. Insane isn't it?!
]]>
Please know that if you didn’t know this or you’re one of those women who got pregnant sooner than they intended, it’s not your fault. You aren’t dumb, you weren’t provided with the information you needed to make an informed choice about your body. And in some cases, you’ve been flat out lied to.
There’s so much misinformation online about this “benefit of breastfeeding”. It’s not a benefit. It’s a lie. And it’s not helping women learn about their postpartum bodies.
I took a lactation course in 2013 and the lactation consultant made it really clear that breastfeeding is not guaranteed to stop ovulation. My prenatal course nurse said the same thing. And guess what, I’ve been selling maternity clothes since 2015, and I’ve heard this so many times, “I was breastfeeding, I didn’t know I could get pregnant!” One woman, was only 6 weeks postpartum when she found out she was expecting again. Time to debunk the big lie about the Lactation Amenorrhea birth control Method.
There is no way to know when your period (and your fertility) will return when you breastfeed. You might get a month, you might get the full duration of the time you breastfeed.
It's an internal hormone shift that triggers your body to start ovulating again. This shift could be genetic, stress induced, or breastfeeding induced. In all cases, prolactin levels drop and estrogen levels begin to increase. And this is what causes your period to return.
When demand for breastfeeding starts to decline, your body could trigger ovulation. Breastfeeding, and the prolactin hormone, suppresses the production of estrogen. Prolactin, the hormone that causes you to make milk, also stops you from ovulating and having your period.
Prolactin is made in your pituitary gland, which is a small gland in the middle of the head just below the brain. The pituitary contains lactotroph cells that produce prolactin, the hormone that stimulates lactation. When your blood contains high levels of prolactin, the hormone interferes with the function of the ovaries and in the secretion of estradiol (the main female sex hormone [estrogen] in women). (source).
High levels of prolactin mean low levels of estrogen. You can’t have a period if your estrogen is low.
A period happens because of changes in hormones in the body. Hormones are chemical messengers. The ovaries release the female hormone estrogen and progesterone. These hormones cause the lining of the uterus (or womb) to build up, and the release of an egg. The built-up lining is ready for a fertilized egg to attach. If there’s no fertilized egg, the lining breaks down and bleeds, and you get your period.
To review, a decline in breastfeeding causes a decline in prolactin which acts as an estrogen suppresser. If your estrogen levels (made in your ovaries) rises, then your uterus is triggered to start lining itself to get ready for an egg. And your fertile again.
Let’s be clear, adding pumping to your feeding regiment to try to keep your prolactin levels up is not guaranteed to work. Genetics, food, what’s in your drinking water, environment, and stress can affect the hormone levels in your body.
You can’t see what’s happening inside your body. There is no way for you to know when your body will start producing more estrogen and bring back fertility. If you don’t want to get pregnant again, DO NOT USE BREASTFEEDING AS A BIRTH CONTROL METHOD.
I hope you found this helpful. Comment and let me know what you’ve learned.
If you're looking for clothes and bras for your breastfeeding (chestfeeding) needs, please support my business. You can find Feeding apparel here. Bras here We also carry nipple shields to help with baby's latch.
]]>
You can read post 2, the term breastfeeding here
You can read post 3, the term chestfeeding here
This series of blog post aren't like anything you’ve read before. They're going to have definitions, history, and are going to be thought provoking. And I’m going to push some buttons. I’m going to ask questions, and I’m not going to answer them for you. This is a sensitive subject. You might get triggered. You might get emotional. And that’s ok. Your feelings are valid, but how you choose to express those feelings, and the language you use might not be. Comments will be screened.
From the moment you announce your pregnant, there’s a lot of talk about how you “should” feed your baby. Whether that’s breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, pumping, formula — or some combination of these, everyone has an opinion. Feeding is a heated topic with a lot of conflict, and so’s the language we use to talk about feeding.
If you haven’t had to choose how to label your feeding approach, chestfeeding/breastfeeding/nursing/feeding might seem like just words, but that’s a privilege not everyone shares.
There’s a lot to unpack here. Let’s start by looking at some definitions and their origins. I’ve decided to tackle these in historical order. Think of this as the timeline for the vocabulary society has used to label feeding. We are going to start with the term Nursing.
The terms nurse and nursing have a long history. The first written account goes back to the 13th century (1200s). It originates from the Latin word nutire, which means to suckle. (Source)
The term “nurse” has evolved overtime to describe a wet nurse, then the caretaker of children (dry nurse), later became caretaker of the sick (16th century), and finally a healthcare professional (actually entomologists now use the term to describe asexual bees).
According to JANE K. DICKINSON, nurse is a term where “the traces of ideologies of gender identity and gendered work appear to be retained.” (SOURCE) In other words, when you hear the term nurse or nursing, you think of women. It’s a word loaded with gender stereotypes.
Nursing has been in use much longer than breastfeeding to describe the act of feeding a baby from one’s body. Unfortunately the history of nursing isn't from a mothers perspective. Remember most of history is written by old white men, so we don’t have the perspective of mothers from back them.
“Although it [nursing] is a topic that is present in different treatises by philosophers, doctors and historians, the female view of it is almost completely lacking. References about breastfeeding are frequent, but indirect and with little information on practices. Thus, the most studied topic is that of wet-nurses.” SOURCE Women are underrepresented in the history of childcare, the figure that comes up the most in our recorded history is the wet nurse.
Remember, bottles & breast pumps are a more recent invention. Historically, if a baby wasn’t fed from a breast, it would die. You’ve heard the saying it takes a village to raise a child. Well sometimes a lactating person in that village would have to step up and feed someone else’s baby, and that woman was called a wet nurse. The use of wet nurses evolved over time from that of necessity, to a paid position in affluent households. Female salves were also forced into being wet nurses. Before the natural sciences movement of the 18th century, nursing was seen as common; too common to be done by royalty and wealthy people.
A wet nurse is defined as a woman who breastfeeds another's child. The use of wet nurses was a common practice before the introduction of the bottle and formula, and continued into the 20th century. Wet nursing was a visible occupation until the 1920s in the United States (here).
Wet nursing has a long history of abuse and exploitation of black slaves and poor women. "The problem with wet nursing is, it’s a very exploitative custom, historically,” Jacqueline Wolf, a professor in the department of social medicine at Ohio University. In the 20th century, the women who worked as wet nurses were desperate. “They were almost exclusively single women who had been abandoned by their families because of the shame of being single mothers, or women who were widowed and homeless.” Wolf said. Being a wet nurse was a job filled with abuse, and these women had no rights. Some of the language used to describe wet nurses; “inherently immoral”,“terrible burden” on the families that sheltered them, ‘three quarters cow and one quarter devil.’ If this was the language used on free poor women, imagine the abuse slave women endured.
Wet nursing was a form of forced labor for Black and afro descended enslaved women. These women were forced to serve as wet nurses for their masters’ wives. This was another form of labor imposed on them. Being a wet nurse could only be forced on lactating women who had borne their own children. This begs the question, what happened to the wet nurses baby? was she allowed to feed it? How many lost their babies because they were forced to feed their masters children?
Now there's people trying to bring back the term"nursing" to refer to the caregiver role of a mother and removing breastfeeding from it altogether. Instead of Nursing being used to refer to the act of feeding, It's seen as incorporating the entire bonding experience of the feeding process. If you’d like to read more about this, Dr. Linda Palmer has an article about it.
Before writing this, I thought the term Nursing was antiquated when it described feeding a baby. COVID made me feel strongly that the term nursing should be reserved for the people in the healthcare profession. And I still feel that way. It’s a gendered term assigned to women and it can stay in the past. I’ve learned there’s a movement that’s trying to evolve the term nursing to refer to the act of bonding and care that takes place during a feed. In that case, the term nursing could be used for the intimacy a bottle-feeding parent experiences when feeding their infant.
I don’t think we need this word in the realm of parenthood. The world has evolved, language has evolved (urban dictionary), it’s time to leave the feeding part of the term “nursing” in the past.
Any private messages sent to me on this subject will be published publicly with your name. So please ensure the language you use with me in private is language you're comfortable having in the public forum.
Part two will be available the week of February 19th, and we're going to talk about the word Breastfeeding.
Read more on Wet nursing
https://ca.style.yahoo.com/wet-nursing-history-190132701.html
https://daily.jstor.org/how-wet-nursing-stoked-class-tensions/
https://healthconnectone.org/black-breastfeeding-after-a-history-of-trauma/
https://victorianweb.org/science/maternity/uvic/5.html
https://historianruby.com/2016/07/03/the-man-midwife-in-the-18th-century/
]]>
My answer is usually a series of questions:
I'm not going to type out the outfit options, I'm going to show you in pictures instead.
These items are sold separately, and I've created a listing for the bundle together. This is a great opportunity to save money on the clothing you'll need for the next 9 months. You'll only need to add a few pieces to be summer ready.
Here they are. Your 57 Outfit options with the above 15 pieces.
Hope you found this helpful.
Let me know in the comments which size I should do next!
]]>
When you shop with us, your maternity wardrobe is a rental wardrobe. Why? Because you can consign it after you’re done with it baby!!! It can refill your wallet instead of your closet.
Vintage, Sport, Chic? Keep your Look and try new ones for the next 9 months guilt free
Buying secondhand and planning to consign your maternity wardrobe is freeing. Shopping secondhand is a great way to diversify your wardrobe, save the environment, gain more closet space, be perfectly dressed for any occasion, and wear expensive items without breaking the bank!
H.E.A. gives you the benefit of sharing and getting paid for it.
Secondhand allows you to keep your style, try new looks for less, and have a happy versatile wardrobe you can enjoy. You don't need to limit yourself.
A HUGE bonus, when you're done with your clothing, you know you can put money back into your pocket by consigning it with us! Isn't that amazing!!!
So don't hold back! Buy the pieces you love, because you're consigning after, your basically "renting" your clothes for a short time!
THE TAKE AWAY
If you’re shopping quality new clothes or secondhand, think of your wardrobe as a rental! You’ll make money off your clothes when you’re done with them! Only secondhand can give you that opportunity. Without H.E.A., your options for your maternity clothes would be extremely limited.
]]>Why can't you keep wearing your regular tops during your pregnancy? Because your regular tops aren't designed for your growing bump.
Maternity tops are designed to keep you covered as your bump grows.
Maternity tops come in different styles and each style has special features to make them a good fit.
The side seams of the top have ruching. This is a stretchy elastic seam that takes the stress stress of the growing bump and saves the fabric from getting stretched out.
Some top are tailored to have a fitted back with more fabric in the front. These tops are usually fitted and have smooth sides
Two side seams. An extra panel is added to the sides to give your bump room to grow.
This style top is fitted in the chest, has a belt or elastic detail at the empire waist (above the bump, think bra line), and flows over the bump. It's a looser fit top in the bump.
So there you have it. How maternity tops are different from regular tops!
]]>
Ever wonder why your jeans are making you feel fat? It's probably because you're wearing the wrong leg cut, or dressing your jeans incorrectly. Here's a quick guide to help you shop for your jeans and help you get the most out of them.
]]>
This is our second year offering a Winnie the Pooh costume. We've made it using two pieces. A short sleeve fitted Dres you can continue to wear after halloween, and a red crop top. You can buy it here
This is a fun costume you can put together at home. All you need is a pair of maternity overalls, a white basic long sleeve T-shirt, and you need to get creative and make a fun hat!
This costume has great potential as a family theme for halloween. Think Wizard of OZ!
This gown is gorgeous and would also make a great piece for a photoshoot. You can buyout outright from us or rent it.
It's cold up here in October, so this mummy costume would work great with white pants and basic T as a base layer. Use toilet paper, sheer fabric, or old bedsheets to complete this look.
This pumpkin T-shirt dress pairs perfectly with leggings! One pice and you're ready for Halloween. You can buy it here
A basic red T-shirt, with some felt from the craft store and here you have an angry bird! This costume can be turned into a family theme.
Black leggings and T-shirt, add a pair of ears, and possibly a tail, and you an be a cat! Don't forget the draw the whiskers!
This cute t-shirt is a great way to announce your pregnancy at this time of year! It's also a fun way to show your halloween spirit! You can buy it here
Red skirt or pants, and a white t-shirt. You can use pompoms or the foam sheets that already have adhesive. This is a fun and playful costume for the season!
This costume made me laugh. I've recently watched Thor Love & Thunder, so this costume is great because it's current, and smart. This costume can be made with clothing from around the house and a few props you can purchase from the store! So fun!
The little mermaid has so many wonderful characters to choose from! You can make the Ursula look with a little black dress as well!
For the boardgames enthusiast! Make your bump the dice bubble!
This costume just needs a chicken stuffy to be complete (I love chickens LOL). A pair of comfy jeans, a basic T and some white bristle board and you're all set! Oh and don't forget the devil horns!
What are your predictions for the future? This costume is easy to recreate. Wear black and make the 8 for your belly. Optional are the triangles that reveal the answers. In this picture, she's wearing layers and revealing the answers by lifting her top.
Black T-shirt dress and a bit of crafting and you too can have your own belly aquarium!
This is a fun couples costume idea. Wear a comfy black sports bra with a pair of leggings. Thrift for a straw hat you can destroy and voi-la!
I hope these pictures inspire you to dress up this halloween. It's one night of the year, it should be fun and it shouldn't be expensive!
Best Wishes
]]>
This is the easiest tank to breastfeed in!
Just lift the flap and unclip your bra. Voila!
Insert breast into baby's mouth, sit back and enjoy a scroll through TikTok.
Two generous openings. These opening frame your breasts.
There's no overlap in the fabric so the tank shows no lines, and it's easy for you to get your baby on the boob.
This tank is a great buy. It's not fast fashion and it's prices as such. This top is made of thick cotton spandex fabric designed to withstand many washes. This tank will last for your entire breastfeeding journey.
]]>
This emails going to be a bit different then the others. Because the benefit of secondhand can be as simple as a clean consciousness and guilt free shopping.
I started Happily Ever After because I wanted to provide access to affordable maternity clothing. I really struggled dressing myself during my first pregnancy because I was one of those women who went up a size in every trimester. I was pregnant EVERYWHERE!
Since 2015 I've discovered that my decision to start this business has had an amazing ripple effect. I had no idea how environmentally friendly and socially conscious it was to buy secondhand. I did it to find pieces that were me, and to save money.
I LOVE Clothes! And I Know You Do Too! And The dark side of the fashion industry shouldn’t ruin that for you.
I have my work clothes (my dressy clothes), my hoodies and jeans, my workout pieces for running, and different pieces for yoga. I've got my lounging around the house comfy pants that are a step up from pj pants, I've got jackets for work and play and dress up, and I have my growing hoodie and denim collection.
I dress for the occasion and my mood. I like having choices!
I wasn't going to go without for 9 months just because I was pregnant. AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!
Did you know the average piece of clothing is only worn 7 times before it's disposed of? By shopping secondhand you create demand for these pieces and you keep them out of the landfill, and out of third world countries that don’t want our excessive hand-me-downs.
Secondhand maternity clothes was a no brainer for me because the pieces look and feel practically brand new! I was able to experiment with my style and have all the pieces I needed so that I wasn’t repeating the same outfits every week!
The good news! You don't need to go without! We have two styles of hoodies by two of our favourite small maternity brands. In this blog post you'll learn more about these hoodies and how to use them as part of your breastfeeding toolkit.
This casual hoodie has discreet zippers tucked under the armpits. These zippers give you quick access to your bra.
What our moms love about it
Made of a stretchy 95% cotton/5% spandex, this hoodie has all the features you're used to, the kangaroo pocket, the drawstring hood, and the longer sleeves.
This top has quickly become a best seller. This quality piece is not fast fashion. And it's priced as such. It's well made with quality fabric and will last your entire breastfeeding journey, be it one pregnancy or more.
This casual hoodie has a flap that provides breastfeeding access. With one hand you can lift the fabric and unclip your bra. It's quick and easy!
What our moms love about it
Made from a quality 94% cotton 6% spandex. There is no need to tuck fabric away once you've lifted the flap. This hoodie is made with generous breast openings. All you do is litt your top, unlit your bra and put baby on the breast. It doesn't get easier than this!
This top has been a favourite for years! and comes in multiple colours.
I Hope you've enjoyed a look at two of our most popular hoodies! Click on any of the images to shop. Here's the shopping link where you can shop all our hoodies in one place!
]]>