Time Management Strategy for Moms: How to Achieve Balance

As a new mom, it’s so easy to get overwhelmed trying to get everything done and trying to meet all the expectations you create for yourself…and that others place on you (real or imagined). No one told you what a 24hr day was going to feel like and how hard it is to be on demand anytime day or night. When baby sleeps, the most common advice dictates that you should sleep as well. But what about everything else? The house, Me time, relationships with your co-workers, friends, partner, and extended family. No one tells you how to create a sense of balance once baby has arrived and monopolizes your time.

It's a hard adjustment from going to a whole person to a caregiver. To a parent, a diaper changing service, a feeder, a soother., and a cuddler. How do you maintain a sense of self and feel like you’re having a good day? How do you take back some control rather than let your circumstances control you? Establishing a new purpose and a regular routine are the best solution when life feels out of control. Time management has some great strategies to help you have the best day, even when you are caring for baby. It starts by defining your purpose, then planning. Make a plan A and a plan B. When you have a baby being flexible is one key to success.

 Time Management

Time management is more than a to do list and checking things off as the day progresses. Lists and bullet journals are a great tool but first you need to ask yourself some important questions. Then you need to divide your life into bubbles. Baby care will always come first. And will interrupt your plans and cut into your other bubbles. That’s why we create a plan A and a plan B.

 The Method

First ask yourself: What do I want? Having a sense of purpose gives you a clear reason for what you want to do. It’s the goal behind your actions and it could be short term, one day, long term, a week or month or lifetime.

Second ask yourself: what does a great day look like? Think about the elements or activities you need to include to feel like your best well rounded self. Next, break down your life into four categories: work, relationships, self, baby.

Work Bubble

Work includes housework, planning for any trips, actual work if you couldn’t take parental leave. Professional relationships if you are acting as a mentor or a consultant and are still in contact for professional reasons. Work is anything that isn’t you, baby, or socializing. Babies are hard work, but they are not a job.

Relationship Bubble

Relationships includes your partner, other children if applicable, your parents and siblings, your partners parents and siblings, extended family, friends, parenting/play groups. Relationships is the social part of your life that requires you to interact with other people via writing or face to face time, or phone calls. Social media is not a relationship its spam for your brain. Spying on friends and family on social platforms is not relationship building or included in this category.

Self Bubble

Self. This is what you do for your physical and mental health. It could be a shower, exercise, hobbies. This is the “you” category and you only. What do you need to feel whole?

Baby Bubble

Baby. This is your Little one. In the beginning baby’s feeding and awake time may be random, but over time SHOULD start to form a pattern and become somewhat predictable so you’ll be able to plan your time around their needs.

The Method in Action

So back to the question what does a great day look like?

Now ask yourself:

-what does my work bubble need to have a great day?

-what does my relationship bubble need from me today to have a great day?

-what do I need to do for me to have a great day?

This is when you make your list. It can be three separate columns, three different sheets of paper, or one sheet with three circles. And yes, you’re going to write this out, research shows that “the act of writing by hand draws our mind into the present moment on a neurological level”. According to Maria Konnikova, “ it is in the present moment that we begin to know ourselves”.  Don’t hold back. Write everything you can think of, want, or need for each bubble. Even if you think it would be impossible with baby, and even if it looks like it’s going to be way more than you can get done in a day. Get it out of your head and onto paper. And don’t get overwhelmed if it’s a lot. Don’t get discouraged if it’s hard for you to think of things to write down. Mental blocks are normal, you’re tired and overwhelmed, give yourself some grace.

The number one thing to remember is you can’t be in all three bubbles at once, and you can’t be in any of these bubbles while you are tending to baby. You must be present and mindful in whatever you do. That will help give you clarity and peace.

Once you are face to face with everything you wish to accomplish, you may feel energised, overwhelmed, or doubtful. Don’t worry, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and tackling your list isn’t about getting it all done. It’s about identifying tasks that align with your purpose in different parts of your life and letting you decide which one or combination of tasks will make you feel like you’re having a great day.

Some days you might be able to get something done from all your bubbles. Other days you might feel the best and get the most out of doing one thing from one bubble and then resting.

The Next Step

The next step with your list is to assign importance. So go through each list item and prioritize. Make your most important item number 1, and assign subsequent numbers as tasks become less important to you.

There’s an important word that will help you number your list. Delegate. That’s right. If you can’t learn to delegate, you will burn out or get bitter and resentful. Place a D beside any task you can delegate in work, relationships, and baby bubbles. As the mom, you don’t have to do it all.

As I said earlier, you can’t be in all bubbles at once. So which bubble do you prioritize? Which one do you schedule in your day first? The answer to these questions is personal to you and will likely change from day to day. You could choose, for example, to get work out of the way first every day, then schedule relationship time and reach out to people mid-day, and work on your self bubble when your partner is home in the evening. A good rule is to make one part of the day a time to regroup and to have some personal down time.

For me a successful day must include some form of physical activity. I may plan to run outside, but if my partner must work late I need to switch to the treadmill, or no run and we go for a walk as a family. It’s still physical activity but it’s a pivot. A plan B. A Plan B allows for changes. It’s not a lesser day, but a way to save your day. Once you get into a routine, a plan b could be dictated by baby. Regressions, leap days, teething, gas. And realize that every single day comes with controllable moments and moments out of your control. Don’t get down when something goes wrong or reshapes your day, just readjust, and keep going.

P.S. 

This blog post was inspired by the book, Juggling Elephants, by Jones Loflin and Todd Musig. If you liked it you should read the book to dive deeper into the concept of looking at your life as bubbles, in the book it is three rings of a circus.