The Real Motherhood
Motherhood is a test in resiliency.
It’s not just the day-to-day tasks and routine, it’s the emotional load and constantly being in demand. Not having time to calm and reset. It’s looking forward to quiet time during their naps and they don’t nap. It’s looking forward to adult time after bedtime but they stay up until after 10pm.
It’s breathing for more than one. Heart beating for more than one. It’s your aura and energy extending out like a protective bubble to ensure you’re always in tune with them. So, you can predict their needs, and protect them from discomfort and pain.
It’s letting them take risks while they play and holding your breathe praying they won’t break their little bodies. And in the back of your mind hoping there’s no witnesses to judge your decision, especially if they do get hurt while trying to learn their bodies abilities and boundaries, their personality, and their fear.
Motherhood sucks. It will take everything you have to give and sometimes it won’t give back. It’s a fart joke, a wet raspberry on the belly, accidental head butts, arguing, crying, yelling, using timers, and giving consequences for actions. It's inside bubbles. It’s cuddles and snuggles that feel like heaven, it’s a genuine smile that lights up your soul. It’s friendship and bonding, laughing and enthusiastic high-5s.
It’s making them do things they don’t want to do. It’s enduring long car rides with no screens. It’s healthy food and takeout. It’s water and milk and a juice box. It’s floor cheerios, toilet tongues, and poo explosions. It’s pee on the floor because the almost made it. It’s pee in bed because they’re learning their body. It’s boogers, puke, and saliva and more poo. A lot of poo. It’s being covered in another humans’ bodily secretions. LE EW
It's pain, worries, anxiety, love, frustration. Good days and bad. It’s the weight of the household on your shoulders. It’s a skipped run because you’re too tired, muffins at 9pm because you need a hit of sugar to sooth your soul, its’ the desire for a vacation alone, and the thought of missing them if you took a break. It’s being the last one out the door because you’re packing for more than one.
It's playing a balancing act between outside play, inside play, and screens even when it’s had and screens would be easier.
It’s wanting what’s best and compromising on what you want with what you can do in the present moment.
It’s compromising what you want for what you actually need.
It’s not a job but you are constantly in the service of others.
It’s joy, peace, love, stillness of the soul. It’s the perfect moments and the moments you could have handled differently. It’s being critiques and judges by complete strangers, family, and friends. It’s beating yourself up about the little things because social media has put too much pressure on you (giving up breastfeeding for formula. 6 years later I can say it was a small thing).
It’s being trapped in the moment, not realizing that this moment or age won’t last forever.
It's about getting them into soccer young, and them having no interest.
It’s reading the same book 100 times. It’s learning about new shows from other moms and your first question is “how many episodes does it have?” because you know you’ll be forced to watch it 500+ times.
It’s being shy and enduring public meltdowns.
It’s stepping on cheerios, Lego or barbie shoes, they are surprisingly invisible on the floor, but your feet will find them!
It’s loving ugly art and wet open mouth kisses (this makes me smile). Its cuddly bedtime stories after a crazy day.
It’s checking on them before you go to bed. And watching these perfect creations sleep.
They make your heart smile because despite all the crazy, all the bad, hard, frustrating, the moods, you love them. Their peaceful faces, their profile still looks like your first glimpse of them in their ultrasound.
It’s that last glance you take of them before bed. Nostalgia hits you and their whole life flashes before your eyes. Erasing the bad and hard and giving you the fuel you need to start their next day.